This book provides a four-part approach to openly expressing our vulnerability by giving and accepting forgiveness plus sharing our gratitude and love with those important in our lives. As Byock says on page 5:
“A deep, natural drive to connect with others lies at the heart of what it means to be human. The Four Things can help you discover opportunities to enliven all your important relationships – with your children, parents, relatives and close friends. You need not wait until you or someone you love is seriously ill. By taking the time and by caring enough to express forgiveness, gratitude, and affection, you can renew and revitalize your most precious connections.”
Here are the four things, with my slight adaptation (since it’s not clear that others always perceive the need for our forgiveness!) 🙂
(PAGE 3) “Saying the Four Things
- Please Forgive Me
- [If There are Things You Wish I Could Forgive, Know That] I Forgive You
- Thank you
- I Love You”
NOTE: [ ] above added by Steve Long
The Christian Playbook blog posting of April 22, 2017 includes this:
ACTION
Since our lack of action is not neutral, maybe you’d be willing to join me over the next week in sharing/saying these Four Things That Matter Most*** to family members (and others!):
- Please Forgive Me [For Any/All Hurts You Have Sustained From Me]
- [If There are Things You Wish I Could Forgive, Know That] I Forgive You
- Thank You [For Being Part of My Life]
- I Love You
Expressing these four things does not suggest that hurts are gone or that you somehow excuse all that transpired. It does, however, affirm the desire for love and peace.
Let’s encourage one another to actively increase peace. Winning peace within our family and friends would be a great start, wouldn’t it?!
Enjoy the day, filled with the Spirit!
…
*** from the book The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byok, with words in [ ] added by me